When he was about 4 years old, one of my nephews had a difficult time pronouncing the name of my best friend.

No matter what we tried, he couldn’t get it right.

And for the record, my friend’s name wasn’t uncommon or confusing like Zebediah or Cornelius.

The problem ran much deeper than that.

“What’s my name?”

“Uncle John.”

“Can you say jam?”


“Can you say jar?”


“Can you say jelly?”


“Can you say Joey?”


After paying off over $20,000 of debt, I started encouraging others to become better stewards of their money.

I would find myself across the table from someone, and I would paint them a brilliant picture of their future life if they were willing to embrace a journey with financial literacy.

“Can you imagine having zero debt? Can you imagine being totally debt-free?”

“That would be great.”

“Can you imagine a day when you check your bank account and it has a comma in it? And it continues to grow week after week, month after month.”


“A friend of mine jokes that anytime someone buys something on credit, it should be pink.

If you buy something on credit, until it’s paid off, it doesn’t really belong to you. It belongs to the bank. As long as it belongs to the bank, it should remain pink. Can you imagine how different our perspective would be if this were really the case?”

“I guess so.”

“Think about it for a moment. How many cars on the road would be pink?”

“The majority of them, probably.”

“Yes. And when visiting friends or family, how many big-screen TVs and top-of-the-line home-theater systems would you see that were pink?”

“Quite a lot, in fact.”

“Heck, in this coffee shop, there are probably people drinking pink coffee, as we speak. Isn’t that crazy?”


For the record, they didn’t actually say “Doey,” but that’s exactly what I heard.

I hit a nerve.

A sore spot.

I bruised their pride.

And I accept the fact that I may have been a bit reckless with my words, as they were not ready to accept what I had just shared with them.

They knew they were drinking pink coffee.

Despite that, I got assaulted with a laundry list of excuses.

They wanted to make it crystal clear.

They felt justified to drink pink coffee all they wanted, and they would continue to enjoy the perks and benefits of doing so.

Our friend’s mindset resembled an old truck stuck in a ditch.

The wheels might have been spinning, but without the proper help, they would remain trapped in the mud.

Under my guidance, I had the truck almost out of the ditch when I foolishly hit the gas and piled more mud on top of them.

My nephew, over time, overcame the “Doey”.

Our pink coffee-drinking friend was starting to move ahead with a new outlook when thoughtless words hurt his pride, and he reverted back to his “Doey” state.

We don’t need to hold onto our “Doeys”.

We can move past them.

And when helping others, we need to exhibit patience.

Pushing someone too hard too quickly will leave them rushing back to their “Doey”.

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